Let's Play Every GameCube Game, Part 15

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Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Eurocom/EA, 2002)


Almost a third person shooter where you blast slow-moving balls of magic at everything. It actually fared quite well critically back in 2002, but I'm guessing you had to care about the IP to enjoy it. I was very bored murdering gnomes off a ledge and fighting a washing machine.


Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (EA UK/EA, 2005)


Now it's a co-op isometric shooter that really likes to make you stop and pick up rocks together. There was nothing very interesting in what I played except that Ron said "wicked", so he's canonically from Boston now. I don't care if people in the UK also say that or what the lore.


Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (Warthog Games/EA, 2003)


Yes, this came out after Chamber of Secrets for some reason. It's a series of long, boring, and unskippable cutscenes that are occasionally interrupted for moments resembling gameplay. Here's a collectathon platformer sequence! Except that you jump automatically, so it's not really a platformer. Alas.


Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (EA UK/EA, 2004)


I played about three seconds of this because it is unstable in a way that can only be explained by evil spirits. No idea what the game is like, but I'm sure it's probably some kind of shooter.


Harry Potter: Quidditch World Cup

Harry Potter: Quidditch World Cup (EA UK/EA, 2003)


An absolutely dreadful sports game. It feels like flying through mud, looks horrible, controls even worse, and the announcer can hardly be bothered to say more than player's last names and some generic praise whenever someone scores a [ridiculous word for a goal].


Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life

Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life (Marvelous/Natsume, 2003)


An incredibly long and boring cutscene about how to run a farm. I'm sure there's a game in there eventually, but I didn't get to it. All the games in this series are the same thing and I have sat through the same intro too many times.


Harvest Moon: Another Wonderful Life

Harvest Moon: Another Wonderful Life (Marvelous/Natsume, 2004)


The same game, but now you play as a girl. In case you're thinking that the series suddenly got less sexist since making marriage end the game for female players or requiring the male PC to help out in previous games, don't worry! Where the male lead was "destined" to lead the farm in Wonderful Life, the female lead here is just a curious "city girl" and Takakura can hardly put together three words without implying she's either a weirdo for wanting to come or that she's totally unprepared for it and should go home. Nevermind that the backstory is clear that the male lead is only here because of nepotism and she actually bothered to learn about farming before coming.


Harvest Moon: Magical Melody

Harvest Moon: Magical Melody (Marvelous/Natsume, 2005)


You can play as a boy or girl on the same disc this time, and it doesn't even judge you for your choice. Look at Marvelous making progress from the 1950s! It sounds like it has more modern gameplay as well, but there were even more long and boring cutscenes to sit through and Stardew Valley exists now, so I'm not going to watch them just to play this game instead.