Let's Play Every GameCube Game, Part 14

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Wherein I play more GameCube games.


Geist

Geist (n-Space/Nintendo, 2005)


I know you eventually get ghost powers and whatnot, but I can't be bothered to play long enough to get to that. It feels terrible to control because of wildly excessive head bob when you move at all and, even worse, a camera that moves many times faster horizontally than vertically. You feel like a robot that needs some maintenance rather than a human, and it's not fun at all.


Gekitou Pro Yakyuu

Gekitou Pro Yakyuu (Wow Entertainment/SEGA, 2003)


Another Japanese baseball game, but with almost no energy. The announcer sounds tired and never says anything interesting, pitch selection requires you to memorize what each analogue stick direction maps to, and batting is just matching a giant blue crosshair to a smaller yellow crosshair. It's perfectly functional, so I can't say it's even close to the worst I've played, but it's certainly one of the least interesting.


Generation of Chaos Exceed

Generation of Chaos Exceed (Idea Factory, 2003)


Some kind of strategy RPG. There's loads and loads of text, so translating it to figure out exactly what's going on would be far more effort than I'm willing to put into an Idea Factory game right after getting back from vacation. It would also require me to watch some boring '80s anime cutscenes and deal with a strange bug that makes some characters not render at all in text boxes.


Giftpia

Giftpia (Skip Ltd/Nintendo, 2003)


An Animal Crossing-like where you have to work of your debt of the money the mayor wasted on your coming of age ceremony after you slept through the whole thing. It reviewed fairly well and was slated to come West, but it sold so abysmally in Japan that they canceled the whole thing. It's just as well, because a mixture of cacophonous music, ugly character models, and extremely annoying Simmish voices for text kept me from getting to any real gameplay.


Gladius

Gladius (LucasArts, 2003)


A tactical RPG that sounds really cool. It reviewed well, seems to feature large battles, and is one of the only "medieval warrior prophecy RPG" games I've ever seen where the foretold child is the girl. Unfortunately, it hangs in the opening cutscene no matter what I do. Maybe I'll find another way to play it someday.


Go! Go! Hypergrind

Go! Go! Hypergrind (Poponchi/Atlus, 2003)


A very basic skateboarding game starring a bunch of Cartoon Network rejects. It feels very floaty and there are some obnoxious lock-on mechanics that make it feel like you're glued to the wall even when you're in the air.


Goblin Commander: Unleash the Horde

Goblin Commander: Unleash the Horde (Jaleco, 2003)


An RTS where you can take control of units and turn it into an action game for a bit. Considering that it's still considered very hard to make a console RTS, it's safe to assume that this brown blur from 2003 did not crack the code. It feels like a knockoff Pikmin more than anything else, and an extremely generic story about goblins does not help matters.


Godzilla: Destroy All Monsters

Godzilla: Destroy All Monsters (Pipeworks Software/Infogrames, 2002)


A 1v1 fighter starring various Godzilla monsters and featuring destructible city environments. I remember it being pretty fun as a kid at the time, but the graphics are obviously no longer impressive and the fighting was always very basic, so there's not much reason to go back now.