Let's Play Every Game Boy Color Game, Part 70

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Tech DeckSkateboarding

Tech Deck Skateboarding (Handheld Games/Activision, 2001)


A skateboarding game where you play as what can be charitably described as a sentient potato and uncharitably described as a reproductive organ. It's extremely slow for a skateboarding game and a lot of the tricks happen automatically, which seems to defeat the entire purpose of the genre.


Test Drive 6

Test Drive 6 (Xantera/Infogrames, 1999)


I was looking forward to this one because I played a lot of Test Drive Unlimited 2 on PC and wanted to see how they adapted this series to GBC. The answer is "very badly." Even at 128 MPH you feel like you're barely moving and the engine noises are without a doubt the worst I've heard on GBC yet. It controls well enough, but everything else is a disaster.


Test Drive 2001

Test Drive 2001 (Xantera/Infogrames, 2000)


The graphics and engine noises are much improved, but it feels like you're driving on ice and they've somehow managed to make both the place indicator and the turn indicator frequently wrong. I don't know how you release a racing game that doesn't always know what place you're in, but apparently they decided that was okay.


Test Drive Cycles

Test Drive Cycles (Xantera/Infogrames, 2000)


Although not quite as bad as the first Test Drive's engine noises, the ones in this game do a good impression of a dial-up modem that's stuck on one of the low notes. Hazards and other vehicles just pop up out of the void without anywhere near enough time to dodge, and it takes forever to get moving again after you've hit something.


Test Drive Le Mans

Test Drive Le Mans (Velez & Dubail/Infogrames, 2000)


It has good music and graphics, but all the same control and visibility problems as the other GBC Outrun-esque games. It throws in some new ones on top of that by having really flickery pop-in and a weird bug that makes it look like the other cars are flying. It really needed a map instead of a tire indicator with how short the draw distance is.


Test Drive Off-Road 3

Test Drive Off-Road 3 (Xantera/Infogrames, 1999)


If this looks a lot like the first game, it's because they came out two weeks apart and are both reskins of an NES game. Off-Road removes the map and has some extra track hazards, but inherits all of the sound and sense of speed issues.


Tetris DX

Tetris DX (Nintendo, 1998)


It's Tetris. It doesn't have korebeiniki. I don't know what else to say about it.


Kikansha Thomas: Sodor-tou no Nakamatachi

Thomas the Tank Engine: Sodor-tou no Nakamatachi (Tamsoft, 2001)


This should have been back in the K's (for Kikansha Thomas), but Wikipedia inexplicably lists the English translation of the title in their list of GBC games despite the fact it only released in Japan. No one was deprived of anything by waiting this long to see it, though, because it's an extremely boring game about driving around slowly and replacing bits of missing track.


Three Lions

Three Lions (Tarantula Studios/Take 2 Interactive, 1999)


I've played a lot of bad soccer games on GBC by now, but none quite as crap as this one. As you might be able to tell from that screenshot, the ball is invisible when a player has it, so you can only locate it by looking for whoever has a flickering letter above their head. Anyone without the ball has the same symbol, so you can only locate the player you're controlling by looking for one that is following your inputs. Passing doesn't work, and shooting skies the ball even when you're right in front of goal, so you can only score by walking it in or getting a penalty. Thankfully, the AI is an idiot, so there's plenty of opportunities for both. But you'll still let up a lot of goals, because the defensive controls are unusable. This is unbelievably bad.


Thunderbirds

Thunderbirds (Pukka Games/Sales Curve Interactive, 2000)


A series of unfair vehicle minigames in which you're navigating a maze and lose instantly if you go down a dead end. You couldn't possibly have known it was a dead end because you can't see far enough out to tell, but the game judges you for it anyway.


#gameboycolor


The list:

  1. Golf Ou: The King of Golf

  2. John Romero's Daikatana

  3. Kakurenbou Battle Monster Tactics

  4. Keitai Denju Telefang

  5. The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening DX

  6. The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages

  7. The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons

  8. LEGO Island 2: The Brickster's Revenge

  9. Magi Nation

  10. Mario Golf

  11. Mario Tennis

  12. Metal Gear Solid

  13. Metamode

  14. Millennium Winter Sports

  15. Mobile Golf

  16. Monkey Puncher

  17. Perfect Dark

  18. Pokemon Crystal Version

  19. Pokemon Card GB2 - GR Dan Sanjou!

  20. Pokemon Puzzle Challenge

  21. Pokemon Trading Card Game

  22. Power Quest

  23. Quest for Camelot

  24. Return of the Ninja

  25. Samurai Kid

  26. Scooby Doo! Classic Creep Capers

  27. SD Hiryuu no Ken EX

  28. Shanghai Pocket

  29. Shantae

  30. Shin Megami Tensei Devil Children: Aka no Shou

  31. Space-Net: Cosmo Blue

  32. Star Ocean: Blue Sphere

  33. Survival Kids

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